Not Hurt, No Deaths, but Possibly Sick.

If you're not bleeding, you're not hurt.  If nobody died, you don't cry.  If you're not throwing up, you're not sick.  This was the way my parents had weeded out our angry tears we used to get our siblings in trouble and our actual hurt.  It was how they persuaded us to go to school with a headache and only miss on the days we were actually sick.  Although sometimes a bit harsh, there isn't a time I come to them in pain and in tears now that they don't know they aren't real and I really do need them.  Even as a 21 year old woman, I follow—subconciously—these rules and I carry them with me.

Thus when I woke up with a pounding headache this morning, I tried to sleep it off.  I didn't cry or fuss and had I had my own medicine (which I failed to pack) I wouldn't have even told anyone.  I couldn't stand it much longer and so I went to my pais' bedroom door at 6am seeking help.  They gave me some tylenol and when I went back to lay down I had this strange need to throw up again.  I ran to the bathroom.  Now the awful yet ironic part is that I was throwing up (sorry about all these stories) and I strained my back (which had been doing so well lately) in the same way I had strained it on Christmas Eve.  As embarrassing and overwhelming I assume my own problems that I don't think others should have to deal with them, a part of me is glad they know here, that way they can help take care of me and understand my weird behavior a bit.

I was supposed to have traveled to a different city with my pais today to visit their other shop but instead I stayed home and slept in and am now watching movies with Laura and Henrique.  Being inside today is going to be nice though, as I was out exploring the city again with my friend Bia.  I love being back, even if I hate how my sinuses and my body are reacting to the warm weather.

Sorry about all the posts of being sick, but when one is sick, there isn't much else to do!

Beijos:*

Never Have I Ever...

Never Have I Ever...thrown up on an airplane.  That statement was incredibly true and I was very proud of it, seeing as I am motion sick often, until my last flight yesterday from São Paulo to Cuiabá, Brazil.  Let me start at the beginning.

I moved my stuff out of my apartment on Friday before work that night, and I went straight home after for Christmas.  Work ended in the best fashion.  We brought in goodies all week to share and on Friday we had a feast.  It's crazy to think that after seeing all of the same people five days a week, I won't see a single one of them for the next five months.  Being home also started in the best fashion; my sister and my older brother and I went out together to end the world right.  It was fun being able to hang out with them, outside of the house, and be around mutual friends as well.

I spent the next five days around home, helping with chores and cleaning and fighting with my sisters.  It's always great to be home!  My lower back had been stiff for a while, and with all of my studying and work it had begun to bother me when I would sit for long periods of time.  On Christmas Eve, I was angry at my sister and as she so politely requested, I went to unload my car of all of my boxes of stuff.  That was when I strained something, which trust me, did not make the festivities or the plane rides any more fun and comfortable.


My first plane took off from Minneapolis at 3:00 p.m., the day after Christmas.  Dad came to the airport to drop me off, where we also met with Marcos, a really good friend of mine. After a fairly quick check-in, a quick goodbye, and an even quicker trip through security, I was on my way to the gate.  I had to wait a bit of time, so I decided to start a book I had brought along.  Then I eventually boarded the plane.

My layovers this time around were quite short.  I had an hour in Atlanta, which was just enough time to get to the plan in time to board.  I had almost two hours in São Paulo, but after customs and check in, I wasn't left with much time either.

On the first flight, I sat next to a man who was from St. Cloud originally, lives in International Falls, and teaches for six month periods in Georgia.  Our conversation began we he thanked me and the guy sitting on his other side for not being fat and pouring into his space.

On the second flight, I sat next to a woman who is from North Carolina and was an exchange student five years ago with the program AISEC.  She was headed back to São Paulo to visit family and friends.  She was probably one of the most plesant people I have ever met on a plane.  We talked about our exchanges, about our families, our jobs, how we've changed, our friends, men in our lives, and how we plan on living in the future.  She came from the same background I did and appears to have the same identity problems I do, trying to decide between the world traveler or the settling down country girl.  It was interesting to get her perspective because she has 15 years of experience on me.  Overall we visited most of the night away and I didn't sleep a wink.

While I was going through customs, I met another 21 year old American from Texas.  She was visiting her boyfriend and his family in Brazil.  She doesn't speak a word of Portuguese, but she enjoys every minute in Brazil.  We complained about the weather, because as we stepped into the São Paulo airport, which mind you is not airconditioned, and we were met with 80 degree weather, we started dying.

Now the airport...  I hadn't been in a Brazilian airport for a year and six months, when I set foot in São Paulo.  Not only was I not preparred for the heat, but I also realized, for the first time, how unorganized everything is.  There are people everywhere, there are few proper lines, and it is pure chaos.  The security is less strict, they don't make you jump through the post-9/11 hoops we have too, but this relaxed feeling also makes me nervous.  I sometimes feel as if they aren't doing their job and that they aren't as adequate, but then again, maybe our country is just over protective in all aspects.

I didn't start to feel sick until I woke up from a short nap, on my thrid and final flight.  My stomach had decided that it didn't want to keep down anything anymore.  I hurriedly asked the woman next to me, in English, if she could get up so that I could go to the bathroom.  Of all my luck, on the only flight I wasn't sitting on the aisle, I needed to frequent the bathroom to throw up.  After the lady stared at me blankly, I asked in Portguese, but because of my distress my portuguese came out roughly, I was tripping over words and pronunciation.  After the third time I got up to go to the bathroom, the lady offered me some Dramamine, which I accepted, however towards the end of the flight it started coming back up.  This time I started gagging into a bag, in my seat.  Now, there wasn't much for me to throw up, because I hadn't had time to eat properly in the airports, and all I had been served was airplane food, and a few drinks.  I also hadn't slept a wink in the last 24 hours.  I made it to the bathroom in the back of the plane and I thought I was going to throw up the medicine and the water I had just drank, however nothing came out.  Then we began our descent and I decided I should probably find a seat.  I started throwing up again as we taxied to the airport, to get off, however once again, nothing came out.

I found my bag and I found Ulysses and Ivete, who had come to pick me up.  I told them that I wasn't feeling well and they took me for food.  I could hardly eat, but I knew I needed a little something in my stomach to start getting better.  We had a four hour drive ahead of us, but the most calming thing was when Ivete said, "if you feel like you need to throw up, tell us and we'll pull over, we're all family here."  She had given me permission to not be embarrassed and to slow their trip considerably because I wasn't feeling well, and I can't begin to explain how much that meant to me.  In the end, we didn't end up needing to sleep.  I slept off a lot of what had me feeling bad.

I arrived home to see my pai visiting across the street with someone, once he saw me he excused himself and came right over to give me a hug.  My mãe and Henrique were down right away to say "hi" too.  It is still hard to believe that I am back.  We drank tereré like normal and then I took a shower and a four hour nap.  When I woke up I came out and watched soap operas with them.  Laura came home from work and we all ate dinner, as a family.  Nothing has changed, not the city, not my familia, and not the food.  The biggest difference in all is the fact that everyone comments on how my portuguese is still wonderful, but the accent isn't like theirs as much anymore, and how I've gotten so thin.  I continue to tell them that I was only ever fat in Brazil.  I went to bed before 10:00 last night and I woke up at 10:00 this morning.  I feel rested and well.

I can't believe I'm back, there really isn't  a way to describe how normal and at home I feel here.  I'm not the scared 18 year old I was when I arrived, nor am I the exchange student.  I am just merely the daughter that came home to visit after being a way for a while.  I don't know Venezuela will be, but here, we're all family.


Beijos,
Aletha

Homecoming

Sometimes I am an emotional wreck, I never really was before I had the emotional roller coaster experience that was my Youth Exchange.  I had one of these moments the other day when I was looking at airplane tickets, one-way, from Minneapolis to Cuiabá, Mato Grosso, Brasil and I was so overwhelmed that I couldn't help but tear up.

About a month ago I started to plan for a semester abroad to improve my Spanish and take care of most of my major credits that I have to complete still.  I looked at programs and eventually decided to apply for the most suitable one that happens to be in Venezuela.  When I was telling my best friend, Isa, about this, she asked if I was going to stop by when I was down there.  My first thought was that I couldn't possibly pull it off.  It would be too expensive and I wouldn't have enough time.  However, once the seed was planted I was hooked.  I had to go back, I had to make it happen.  In my mind it all made perfect sense, I was already taking a leave from work so why not incorporate this into it.  I hadn't planned on going back to Brasil until 2014 at the earliest, but this seemed too good to pass up.

I started talking to my brother, Henrique, and asking him if he'd be around in January for me to visit and if I could stay with them.  After a while of reassuring myself that it would all work out and that I wouldn't be a burden on my family, I contacted him and bought the ticket.

I am officially going back to Tangará da Serra!! I will spend the end of Decemeber and most of January with them before I continue on my way.  I was crying when I bought the ticket of how real this going home experience has become.  I can't wait for everything that comes with it.

On a sad note, one of my best friends, Hiago, was planning a trip to Minnesota to visit myself and Matthew at that exact time!  We may miss each other all together, which bothers me a lot because I miss him to pieces and want to see him, but I know that it will also be okay because he will finally get to see snow and the U.S. while using his english and that happiness of his is more important to me than seeing him in Brasil would be.  I am nervous however, I mean who wouldn't be?  I am going back and it isn't going to be the same, I am not going to be under any rules and I will be thrown back just as I was when I returned to the United States for the first time.  I can only hope that the "reverse culture shock" that I will go through will be hardly anything and it will seem like a mere homecoming/vacation!!

Some of the things I am most looking forward to are listening to my favorite type of sertanejo (country) music, maybe go fishing, going the farm and ride horses, dancing with my friends, eating açaí, and hanging out in the living room watching soap operas and movies with my family.  I also can't wait to go to church with my family and then again with my friend Isa and her family!  One of my last desires is to go out and party because I want to be able to experience all the small moments and the down time I had last time that were so important to me, but I've always been up and ready for anything!

Até logo, Brasil!
Aletha Rose Duchene

Is It Really Over?

Is it really over? Yes, I am still asking myself that question. I have delayed this "wrap-up" post for a long time, and would still procrastinate it more if I could. My tendancy with things I really like is to leave them intact as long as I can. I use my favorite clothes less than I probably should and for greater events, I don't unpack myself because I don't want to believe I'm 'home', and I most certainly don't enjoy conlcusions-they seem so definite.

It has been almost two months since I've been back in the United States, getting used to the culture again, and figuring out how to deal with my 'homesickness'. Getting used to the culture is so strange. I watch people dance and think, 'that's so strange', or I see the way people interact to something and think that they are so 'out of the loop'. Also, I am proud of my accomplishments and my adventures and I am excited to talk about this huge part of my life but like the words of my sisters "UGGGH, again! well in brasil I...*mocking me*", people don't always want to hear about it. So I'm still trying to get used to when it's okay to touch on and how much I can share before people get sick of it. But the biggest and strangest thing is the homesickness. This homesickness is the hardest thing I've ever done.

I consider myself lucky. I spent 11 months and 10 days in Brasil and came home just long enough to realize that I was too independent to stick around until I was moving off to my apartment in Minneapolis to start college. It helps a lot that I have a huge support system both here and abroad rooting for me to be happy and my success, they all seem to believe in me more and be more willing to do what they need to help me out then I am to myself sometimes. The college experience has been a much needed distraction for a while, but I find that as my routine starts to make itself more concrete, I begin to start to feel 'homesick' even more often.

Dealing with this newfound homesickness has been hard since I set foot in Minnesota. I remember the pilot saying that we were approaching the Minneapolis airport and would be landing in 20 minutes. I looked out the window, saw a bunch of corn fields, and started bawling. The closer the plane got to the ground the more upset I seemed to get and the more emptyness took over. I remember walking down the hallway to the bagage claim all-teary eyed thinking that it was oficially over. Then of course I saw my family and the tears of joy came. It took a couple weeks to not tear up when I talked about my experience to people, especially when people looked at me knowingly and asked "so, hooow aree youuu?" and to this day if you catch me on a down day it's a very possible outcome. But I have found some wonderful outlets. I went skydiving the first week and a half back to add some excitement and I'm trying new activities and new foods. I am taking more credits than normal freshmen, so I put a lot of time into my studies, especially my Portuguese and Global Studies classes, I've joined Rotex and have been trying to participate as much as possible and reach out to inbounds, I've joined groups on campus-some dealing with Global studies and some that just meet to play ultimate frisbee, I try to have company over and go out because the more I put myself out there the more I'll get out of it, and I want something similar to what I had on my exchange. I don't want the happiness, the outgoingness, and the willingness to fade away. I got the chance to talk to Marcia Gerdin-my country officer when I was going through orientation-a few times since I've been back. I feel like she has been one of the most influential and helpful people. I will never forget the advice she gave me after the Rebound Orientation on the boat ride. She told me to let the wave of homesickness hit me full force, to take the time to cry, to listen to my music, to wear my clothes, to paint my nails, and to eat my food. I have done this and I still do, it seems to help me immensely and it's both comforting and scary to hear that this emptyness and wave of homesickness will hit me for the rest of my life. My exchange never will truly be over, today I'm just me on exchange to a different city where I'm studying at a University, after that I'll just be me, on yet another learning experience and a different phase in life. It's never going to be over, this is something that was embedded in me, the mindset, the way of life, and it isn't something that I'd change even if I could.

So all in all, I'm doing good. I'm content with where I am in life and even more excited for future plans which will surely lead me on even more adventures. I would like to thank Rotary because it would not have been possible without you. My host club, my host district, my district, and my club (WOO, go Northfield :) ), I am so happy you entrusted me with this opportunity because it has brought so much joy and understanding to my life. Thanks for taking care of me in all the phases of my experience! A HUGE thank you to my parents because I can't imagine how hard it was to give up their child to strangers for a year and hope that everything turns out well, and also to my siblings who I'm sure missed the help with homework, the car rides, and the company (at least I like to hope so ;P). If you love something set it free...and that's what you did, and I will never be more grateful for that. And of course another gigantic thank you to everyone that took me into their homes and into their hearts, it means the world to me.

Thanks for reading my blog and keeping up with me!! Thanks for giving me your time, remembering me, and at least deeming me a little bit important! It has been a good time, and even a better time hearing about how my blog reached and effected people that I never would have expected. So once again, thanks so much! Your support means a lot to me!

So with that being said... my bags are unpacked, I've started the next phase of my life already, and I have no certain planned return, so... is it REALLY over? ... ... ... no, it never is, not really anyways.

Até a próxima!

Beijos:*

A.D.

Guess Who?

If my being was a character of the classic "guess who" game, I'm pretty sure I'd never guess myself in the end. I am the last person with the answers to the question, "who are you?" I know myself so well now, and yet not at all.

I vaguely remember who I was before I left home 11 months ago. I was normally happy, fairly stressed out every once in a while, and I was a nervous worrywart. But the question isnt 'who were you?' it is 'who are you?'... Who am I?

Well my name is Aletha Rose Duchene, I am 19 years old, I have 2 sisters and 1 brother, and I am the daughter of Mark and Theresa Duchene. Simple enough..? No. I am also the filha of Suedir and Ederly Ribas, Carlos e Márcia Scholz, & Nildo and Maristela Queiroz. I have 2 irmãs and 5 irmãos. I have no permanent residence. I fluently speak Portguese and English and sometimes I find myself using Google Translator to translate words to english so I can speak with my friends and family back home. I am excepcionally happy, always. I am the gringa. I am more adventurous than I have ever been. I have stopped worrying and have started putting my faith into things. I have tons of friends from all over the world. I am from the United States of America, but I feel like my soul is half brazilian and always was.

When I left for Brazil and while I was living in the States, I had a very set idea on life, where I wanted to go, what was wrong and what was right, and I had very little tolerance for people I deemed hoodlums. Everything has changed. My point of views on things that I had given no wiggle room, are now things that I understand and that I have even put into practice. For example, I used to think it absurd to stay out past 1:00 a.m. because it didn't make sense to me, I mean what good comes about at that hour. I believe that the past week I have not been home before one, and if I have it has been an early night. There are also other items where I was more tolerant back home and now it just seems ridiculous to me now.

I have changed a lot, and I will be the first to admit it, but in some ways I haven't changed at all. I guess that is all part of growing up, but I also feel like it has such a deeper level to it because not only was this a year of growing like any normal young adult, but I also did it in a completely different culture. I don't know how to explain it, but I know that it would be IMPOSSIBLE for me to return home without having changed at all. I can't begin to imagine it. My eating habits have changed, my hair and nail care habits have changed, even my idea of fun has changed a little bit.

Overall, I don't think i'll be the most recognizable person when people are getting to know me again, but I'm sure they'l find me just as pleasant as before, or so I hope. I am happy with who I am and the process it took to get here, and I wouldn't change anything for the world.

Beijos:*

ARD

A Funeral In the Family

Usually when you live in another country as an exchange student you get to experience almost all of the normal ceremonies. You go to weddings, wedding showers, baby showers, birthday parties, graduation ceremonies, holiday gatherings, and other special cultural events. However I never thought nor hoped that I would end up at a funeral. Especially in Brasil. Funeral events are 24 hour things. The person dies, they have a wake for a long time (which I didn't get a chance to experience, but they sit and pray and visit the dead), and then they have a mass and they take the dead to the cemetery. Now being it all happens so fast it isn't that kind of thing where you can travel long distances, or where I knew many people that were dying. However as we were driving to the airport in Cuiabá to go to Paraná, my second host dad told me that his great uncle had passed away. He lived in Paraná and under normal circumstances he wouldn't have gotten there in time, but being he had died on the eve of our travel, we ended up arriving just as the casket was entering the church.

I don't know how to explain what it is like going to a funeral where I knew nobody except my host dad and my two brothers. I had never heard of the dead man and I knew little about him except that he was a relation and that he played in a band. Also, where does the exchange student's role fit in terms of condolences. I know with my parents back home I would give them lots of hugs and talk to them, but is the role the same, especially if I had never even known of this person before...? The wonderful thing before this moment is I always put this in the "what if" catagory and never thought up a good enough answer because I thought and hoped it would never happen. All you can really do is be prepared for anything because I believe that any person would be different and react differently. You have to be ready, if they want a long tight hug, that is what you have to offer them, if they want to be alone you can show them you care by taking care of other things around the house or such and offering your company. However it's not as easy as one would think, and a lot of the moments are awkward. I feel like in this sense we have the same role as beloved pets do, almost, because we don't exactly have the complete role of children (because children would know how to deal with it, would know the circumstances, and people tend to shut down when they are devestated) but because we are here to help lift their burden, to make their day better with a hug or a smile, or simply to clean up the kitchen without being asked (not that animals do). Thank goodness it wasn't a closer relative to the family, and the effect wasn't as big. However it was a strange but good experience nonetheless.

I think the weirdest thing was being in a room where everyone knew the man and was crying, which left me wanting to cry, but not knowing him or anyone else. I didn't know how to act and I was such an outsider. I spent most of my time observing people and their reactions than paying attention to things. As awful as it sounds I liked watching people cry. I liked watching people hold each other. I liked that I could tell that he was beloved without ever knowing the man, to me that is the best way to honor him. Nothing was faked, nothing was acted out, it was normal people at a funeral. I felt like it was the beginning of a movie, you know before you get to know the other characters where you just watch and begin to take in the scene.

Then I got to thinking about death and I have yet to come to a good conclusion, but hopefully I have a lot of time left. However maybe some exchange student will be lucky enough to attend my funeral, I for one would be delighted in their presence. In the sad event that you get the chance, I advise you to go to a funeral in a different country, because every culture is at least a little bit different.

tchau tchau for now,

beijos:*

Aletha

Back to the Cold

Well my dear friends! It has been forever and so much as changed in this time!!

First,

I moved families. I moved on March 1st to the Scholz family. In the house I was an only child, however I have 2 brothers that are 19 and 23 that live in Curitiba. My parents are owners of a chicken butchering operation, I imagine similiar to Golden Plump. Although I didn't have siblings, I got to know the godson of my mom and his family quite well. I also went to church a bunch more. 0:)

Second,

I celebrated Carnaval, which I loved!! I entered a group for people around my age that my friends were in and we went to a farm before to hang out and dance and then to the Tangará Tennis Club for the big party. This was 4 days in a row. Normally we started at about 9:30 ish and got home about 5 or 6. It was some of the most fun I've ever had because of the pure energy and exciement everyone had.

Third,

I traveled to Sinop with Maristela and Nildo. Sinop is a city in the Northern part of Mato Grosso, where the Amazon Rainforest is. I visited a park there where I got to feed monkeys, which dropped down close to my shoulders (they perferred bread to bananas). I also fed huge fish and turtles, and saw exotic birds. While I was there I met the Brasilian MotoCross Champion on the street and I stayed in a house with Divina and her husband who have 6 kids, 4 dogs, and 1 mexican. :)

Fourth,

I went to the Rotary District Conference. Here I met another exchange student from Colombia named Andres. We hung out a lot with the interactianos and I sold my bonbons. I had to make $100 for a project called Shelterbox, to give to my district. From selling my bonbons (which I made) in the rotary meeting, at school, and at the conference I ended up making about $170. After the conference ended, Alejandra and I went to the Jorge&Mateus concert, which was wonderful!!!

Fifth,

I moved again. I moved in with Maristela and Nildo, a little before the first of June. I will stay with them until the end of my exchange. They live very close to my first family, to the center of town, and Isa's house. I live there with them and their son Andre. They also have two other children who don't live at home. We live in an apartment that is two apartments, one on the second floor and one on the third, and they added a staircase to connect them both.

Sixth,

I had to say goodbye to Alejandra. Alejandra has been a big part of my exchange, she arrived about a month after me and she just left. Her family came to see her in the end of her exchange and she returned with them. It was wonderful to get a chance to meet her family, I greatly enjoyed getting to know them! I don't think I had cried so much on my entire exchange, imagine when I have to say goodbye myself.

Seventh,

I am currently traveling. I went to southern brasil with my second host parents. I left thursday with my pai carlos and I arrived that evening in Curitiba. I finally got to meet my host brothers, Gustavo and Felipe. We all went out for pizza and the next day we left for Pato Branco where the 70th birthday party of Marcia's dad would be. I also went to a FUNERAL. Now This was the strangest thing I had yet to do. I'll try and explain it more in detail some other time. Then I met my aunt and uncle and cousins (heloisa and matheus) who are super nice and I went and stayed in their house for a few nights. We all played a buch of videogames and watched a lot of movies, it was nice and reminded me of our family get togethers. At the party which was a lunch one day and then a smaller lunch the next we spent a lot of time outside lighting off fireworks or just hanging out, which reminded me of the way my cousins and siblings and I are during family gatherings. I ate pinhão (?) which is a typical snack in Paraná, that is cooked pine cones (not like our pine cones) that you open and then salt them. They are good! BUT here is the kicker, IT IS WINTER HERE. IT IS COLD. Well, it feels a lot like fall anyways. It's about 50 degrees here everyday and I am wearing sweatshirts and long socks and I love it! I don't know how to explain it, but cold has a certain smell, a certain feeling. I stepped off the airport and into the cold air and I was immediately back home. It was great!

Well I won't be home until Monday I think, but I'll try and update again soon!

Beijos:*

Aletha

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY DADDY-O!! Hope it was a great day!!!